Thursday, February 10, 2011

My sister-in-law gave me a great coffee cup for Christmas. It's one of those tall ceramic cups that doesn't hide in the cupboard. Blue and brown with flourishes that reminds me of the steam rolling off that perfect cup of joe in the morning. The best part is the message. 
  " Life is not about finding's about creating yourself."
 She "gets" me.   Thanks Tracy.

Do you ever feel like "if I don't make something today I'm going to explode"
That's how working on a craft project, any project works for me.

One time I took care of a patient who was admitted for a (thankfully) failed suicide attempt. Drug overdose.  Her anxiety level was high and it didn't help that we were monitoring her closely. one on one.  She was a "cutter". Her arms and legs scarred from years of cutting herself. During the night I found her trying to cut herself. She explained to me that she felt like a balloon about to explode and when she cuts herself it relieves some of the pressure. Interesting.
   I thought about this and later brought her a piece of paper, staying with her I asked her if she wanted to tear the paper. I watched her slowly tear the paper into strips.  As she tore strips I watched her calm down a bit. I stayed with her until the paper was shredded. Together we tore paper into long narrow strips. Then she wept and thanked me.  I then collected every piece of paper and took it away. She slept for several hours. 
     Thank God I have never been inflicted with uncontrollable impulses, clinical  depression or any other psych issues like this young lady.  But I think of her sometimes as I am cutting paper in my craft room.  sometimes when I have been working on some type of artsy fartsy masterpiece (or not) and I feel my spirit lighten, I get caught up in the power to create, and I feel released from the drudgery of day in day out junk.  Interesting. 

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